I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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