the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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