LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize