awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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