Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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