You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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