Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
