If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I didn't notice because vodka
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
