Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We are two peas in an std pod
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
