That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
