Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
