Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
