decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
