I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
