Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
