White coat. Heels.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize