Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
