He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
