help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
