you would pick up someone in the library
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
