I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
