pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
