My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
