I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
