mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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