There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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