Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
