Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
