She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
