the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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