That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
