yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
