This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
