So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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