You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
