i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
