He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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