I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
