We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
