well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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