I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
