I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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