even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
