Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
