i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
