I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
