am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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