i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
