no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
