I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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