and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
