Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
should my penis look like a turkey
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize