I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
