thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
