people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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