So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
