We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
