Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
