Fine. I'll sleep in my office
how can u be prego again
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
