I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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