your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
