3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
