it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
