so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
